1 – Burrrrrlesque
2 – Let me save your genre!
3 – You could go after a huge tattooed dude but the difference is I’m dangerous.
4 – Polka Christmas music.
5 – Of course there’s a way to defeat me, it wouldn’t be fair if there wasn’t.
6 – “Dude, you are so vintage.”
7 – Rush is metal.
8 – None of that discovering what I’m into bullshit.
9 – If I bathed you in his blood would you get an erection?
10 – If I see cherubs when I’m dying I’m gonna freak out.
11 – I got your blue state right here, baby!
12 – This house was built on a boneyard.
13 – Creative warfare.
14 – Yeah that’s what I wanna waste my existence on.
15 – Shut up, grandma. I’m eating all these cookies and YOU can go buy more and YOU can make them.
16 – Cute snowstorm.
17 – It’s already bought and paid for.
18 – Exam ‘em before you ram ‘em.
19 – White Widow.
20 – They all get F’d in the A by Calypso anyway.
21 – Give your family pictures of me for Xmas.
22 – You can’t beat Swiss Miss, so don’t even try.
23 – I love weirding that family out.
24 – Party at the morgue, that’s where I come in.
25 – Holy Jesus, Merry Christmas.
26 – George Michael, my hero of hair.
27 – You know I’m good for it.
28 – I want to take my own hearse to my own funeral.
29 – Montresor.
30 – Christmas is never over.
31 – 2016 pulled my nuts through my zipper.
1 – I’m way more immature as an adult than I was as a child.
2 – “You can run all your life but not go anywhere.”
3 – I’ll just… Roll in… To history.
4 – Upset for reasons not yet named
5 – We all deserve an apple pie once in a while.
6 – I come home and dinner’s not ready I go through the roof.
7 – Sky high boys!
8 – You’re fuckin’ mah dreams up!
9 – We all die. That’s what makes us beautiful.
10 – Liquor money: when you’re down to your last $20.
11 – Rainbow Six Siege is a cult classic.
12 – Tattoo You
13 – Yeahhh I used to be a freak.
14 – The Ice Beam in Metroid Prime looks the coolest.
15 – I’m the demon of indulgence.
16 – Sandalwood, it’s real stuff.
17 – The money’s gonna go, but the legacy will linger.
18 – “Got any advice for the young folks out there?” Live until you die.
19 – In the style of those old actors on commercials; “I used to be cool, and we all die anyway.”
20 – Crazy shit happens all the time.
21 – Bruce Springsteen is the best “musician”.
22 – I’m full of power plays.
23 – I’m lousy with fame.
24 – So I get the “All right, well.”
25 – I’m not good at it but it’s what I want to do.
26 – I’m only as good as the worst me.
27 – The balls on you! To cut me down in front of everybody!
28 – The Raybeats
29 – Hell is the road to heaven.
30 – I enjoy watching them all squabble for my glory.
1 – I’m not a murderer, I’m a monster slayer.
2 – It’s always been my nightmare to be in a Christian future.
3 – Nobody gets what they deserve. Which is good in my case.
4 – Darkman is about Jacob Astor fleeing the Titanic after the boiler explosion took off half of his face. “Really?” No.
5 – I partied with you once, right?
6 – It’s an act. He’s dead inside.
7 – I’ve got an alter ego.
8 – I’m a Halloween costume waiting to happen.
9 – I can tell if it’s a guy or a chick singer in country songs before any lyrics start.
10 – I’ve got a Mountain Dew green glass hardened over heart.
11 – I’m perfect at doing the banjo in the Menards jingle.
12 – Do you want my autograph?
13 – It’s weird being a human, dude.
14 – Morrowind; why do you have to kill SO many people along the way?
15 – Sometimes I’d see my dad and he’d ask, “what if you got a haircut?” And my response is always, “then it’d be shorter.”
16 – Caribbean Punch
17 – Look away from the moon to find me.
18 – It’s not the first time I’ve been ghost of Christmas futre’d.
19 – As smart as I am I still make really dumb decisions.
20 – It’s something that I would like to escape from.
22 – Anything John Williams touches is gold.
23 – The Last Crusade: That WAS real life.
24 – I never told anyone this but I love Grease
25 – I’m becoming what my son is going to become.
26 – Nothing wrong with getting old and being in a home. At least there they can’t hurt ya no more. Unless the staff is abusive. Which I’m looking forward to.
27 – Ol’ Dirty Bastard comes back to life and reunites the Wu Tang Clan and they fight evil.
28 – It’s a hollow, dead job (super popular musician)
29 – They’re called the Spinners, get it? I’ll be AROUND
30 - Death isn’t black, it’s white. Maybe that’s why people wear black at funerals; to make death lose interest.